Alright, for anyone that is unfamiliar with the nigerian 419 scam it is ppl from Nigeria that send out fake emails telling ppl they have won an exceptional amount of cash and to collect it they must divulge there personal information such as bank accounts and addresses. They speak very poor english and for the most part have very little idea what you are saying to them. To sum it up you can say what ever you want and it is absolutely hilarious cause they never give up, well I guess they do if you tell them that you finger there mother. Don't do that they wont respond and you have to find a new chump. Enjoy
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 Microsoft International™
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW10,United Kingdom.
Batch number: 12/25/0340
Reff number: MSN-L/200-26937
Winning number: YM09788
Dear Winner
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You have been cleared a winner of the Microsoft Award International program. I am happy to inform you that i have forwarded your Original Certificate and your Certified bank cheque to the bank. Find below the details of the Bank .
Units 7 & 8 New Pudsey Square
Bradford Road Stanningley
Leeds LS28 6PX
Contact Person:Graham Poll
Email: unittybnk@live.com
Tel: +44 703-190-4591
Fax: +44 870-479-6941
You are adviced to send the Bank an email for the delivery of your winning prize to the payment centre. When contacting them,you are to include this order number as your subject.Please you are adviced to write down the order number and save it.
ORDER NUMBER ED231282
Note: you are to Quote your complete names,Ref/Batch Numbers and your direct phone number so that they can honour your letter also do keep me updated with your communications with the Bank.
Once again i say congratulations and always inform me with your dealings with the Bank.Thanks.
Best Wishes,
Mr. Terry Martins.
Tel: +44 703-193-1805
Fax: +44 870-471-4823
This is my first response, you gotta bait them
Graham Poll, or is it Terry Martin
I cannot seem to find that bank, I drove all around town and never saw Microsoft International, I may have missed it though I have a hard time concentrating I took these new pills and I get a hard on for 2 to 3 hours unless I rub it out every 20 minutes, I don't mind it I'm just running out of places to wipe on. I appreciate you forwarding my cheque as i have a hard getting around since my incident with the curling iron. I did write down the number and put it up in a secret place where I keep all the bodies so I wont lose it. Do I need to bring any documents with me when I go to this bank, and could you give me better directions to it? I see you are going through a lot of trouble to get this money do I need to pay you for it?
Thanks,
Ron Jeremy
His 2nd letter:
ATTENTION:
We are in receipt of your email.First of all we want to congratulate you for your prize winning.
To transfer your prize winnings to you,you will first have to open an account with us,so that we can be able to begin with the telegraphic transfer of your prize winnings of 500,000 Great Britain Pound Sterling.
Below are the account opening/activation fees options,and their different rates.You are expected to let us know the option you would like us to use in the transfer of your winnings.
OPTION 1. (48 HOURS TRANSFER PERIOD)
Account Set-up Fee: $550
Opening Deposit: $350
Tax Charges: $650
Total: $1,550
OPTION 2.(7 DAYS TRANSFER PERIOD)
Account Set-up Fee: $350
Opening Deposit: $350
Tax Charges: $450
Total: $1,150
OPTION 3.(10 DAYS TRANSFER PERIOD)
Account Set-up Fee: $250
Opening Deposit: $150
Tax Charges: $350
Total: $750
Let us know the option you would like to use,so that we will further instruct you on the modalities to sending the fee,so that we can set up your account in order for your transfer to commence.
Once again,we say congratulations on your award winning.
We look forward to your prompt response.
Regards,
Contact Person:Mr Graham Poll.
Phone: +44-703-190-4591
Account Manager,
Online Banking Division.
Now if he actually responded have some fun with him.. My Second response:
My Besti, Mr Graham Poll
Is there anyway I could just use my winnings? I have some money that I was saving up but it is only 650$ dollars and I planned on using that to get my mom her own bed, she snores and kicks me in her sleep and she always has guys in there with us. I don't know bout you but I'm just not up for more than 3 people in a twin size bed.
I sure would hate to miss out on this though maybe we could work out something special that I could do for you on the side...
I Love you,
Ron Jeremy
His 3rd response:
Hello Ron Jeremy,
Thank you for the email.
Since you have $650,i advice you to go ahead and send it to us,so that we can begin with your transfer.You should know that once the transfer of your winnings is completed,you can buy any bed you want to buy for your mom,you can even buy her a water bed if you want to,because the funds you will be getting is a whooping $733,421.14.
So,you are to send the fee through western union money transfer with the information below;
NAME: GRAHAM POLL
ADDRESS:. #24 Liverpool James Street Station, James Street, Liverpool, Merseyside, L2 7PQ. LONDON,ENGLAND.
As soon as the payment is sent,you are to send us the following payment info.so that we can make the pick up and immediately open your account for your transfer to be done.
MTCN
SENDER'S NAME
Awaits a response from you.
Regards,
Contact Person:Mr Graham Poll.
Phone: +44-703-190-4591
Account Manager,
Online Banking Division.
My rebuttal:
Mr. Graham Poll Smoker,
Are you sure it would be okay cause I know it was 750.00$ to open the account and I would be short 100.00$, I really don't want to mess this up. I would like to send the funds, I'm just a bit nervous about it cause I know nothing of you and your bank. Maybe you could tell me about yourself and your family to help ease this, and we could be lovers. WOW!! My luck just keeps getting better I thought I was only getting 500,000 now its 733,421.14!! This must be my lucky day, did you give some one the ole reach around to get me that extra money? you sligh dog you... For all this help you're giving me there has to be something I can do for you with all that money, well all that I will have left I already promised mom she would get the bed, she said she didn't want a water bed she put a hole in the last one when she was acting out a role play scene with my brother (I was mad cause they did it while I was doing a overnight for beating off a cockerspaniel). Anyway there has to be something I can give you for all your help, maybe a blumpkin or a golden shower? Just let me know and I will be sure to get you one.
your alabama hot pocket lover,
Ron Jeremy
definition of alabama hot pocket lover - the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards). definition curtesy of urbandictionary.com
His 4th and final response:
Hello,
The amount you have won is 500,000GBP(Great British Pound Sterling)which is the dollar equivalent of $733,421.14.
You have to go ahead and send the $650,we will help you pay the balance $100.
We look forward to your email as soon as you have sent the fee.
Graham
I guess I went a bit overboard cause I never recieved another...you be the judge and lemme know.:
Graham Pole,
Can I write you a check and just mail it to you, cause my mom doesn't think I should send it the other way, I told her I'd give her another black eye if she didn't stop talking (you know you can never beat a woman enough). I bet you can relate to that are ya married Mr. Pole? It is just 650$ dollars I said, I don't know though, the last time I told her to shut her mouth and turn around I ended up with a son.
It got me thinking I should probably be more careful so do you think you could tell me more about yourself and your company so I can shut that bitch up? I really am excited about the money though, I just can't wait I think the first thing I'll buy is another dog since my last one was taken from me (I'm sure you recall the last message)... I was thinking about taking a vacation too, maybe go spelunking or something. You seem adventurous I bet you've done a lot of anal spelunking in your time, you crazy ole bastard you...
I'll finger your mother,
Ron Jeremy